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ITD Definitions: March/April 1979

The look back through the Transporters of yesteryear has uncovered some ancient rib-ticklers, like these, from a 1979 issue:

Here’s what they really mean…

Contractor: A gambler who never gets to shuffle, cut or deal
.
Bid Opening: A poker hand in which the losing hand wins.

Bid: A wild guess carried out to two decimal places.

Low Bidder: A contractor who is wondering what he left out.

Engineer’s Estimate: The cost of construction in heaven

Project Manager: The conductor of an orchestra in which every musician is in a different union.

Critical Path Method: A management technique for losing your shirt under perfect control.

Strike: An effort to increase egg production by strangling the chicken.

Delayed Payment: A tourniquet applied at the pockets
.
Completion Date: The point at which liquidated damages begin.

Liquidated Damages: A penalty for failure to achieve the impossible.

Pedestrian: The father who has taught his son to drive the family’s car.

 

Published 07-31-15