ITD From the Vault:

The wit and wisdom from Transporters of yesteryear:

1977:

By the time you’re old enough to know your way around, you don’t feel like going.

Of course machines have feelings; otherwise, when the dishwasher stops working why would the furnace break down?

A smooth sea never made a good sailor.

Ever noticed that the most interesting people have the same opinion you do?

A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours. – Malcolm Forbes

The cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity.

It’s hard to get ahead if you spend all your time getting even.

Inflation is the price we pay for those government services they tell us are free.

The trouble with trying to teach a child the value of money is that the value of money never holds still long enough for any but a very fast child to learn it.

 

Huh?

“Red Tape,” as defined by the federal Office of Management, circa 1977:

Red tape is an epithet often used to describe excessive bureaucratic requirements and interference. Continuing efforts are being made to reduce unnecessary or duplicate administrative requirements on grantees, but not to the point of abdicating federal responsibilities of assuring compliance with statutory requirements.

Well, now you know.

 

1978:

In the late 1800s, a clergyman, Bishop Wright, thought it was impossible for man to fly.

“Flight,” he said, “is reserved for the angels.”

Bishop Wright never did fly, but his sons, Orville and Wilbur, put a lasting postscript on his comments.

One Congressman tells about a letter he received from a gentleman in his district: “Please don’t improve my lot any further – I can’t afford it.”

 

Math Class

A bridge in Kentucky collapsed with four highway workers on top repairing it. On the bridge was a nine-ton truck loaded with 14 tons of asphalt, and a 10-ton grader. That’s 33 tons on the bridge. The problem – the bridge was posted with a load limit of three tons.

 

 


Published 09-18-15