I before E...unless you have a
weird, feisty neighbor

When I was growing up, one of the rules of grammar that was drilled into all of us was, “i before e except after c.” That was gospel. According to my gradeschool English teacher, it was one of those Universal Truths.

Not so much, as it turns out.

My feisty neighbor Keith likes to lift weights with a weird deity. There are six violations of that rule just in that one sentence. If you really put your mind to it, I’m sure you can think of a few more offenses. Reign, freight, height, beige, sovereign, neighborhood -- the list goes on.

And if firefighters fight against fire and crime fighters fight against crime, what do freedom fighters fight against? And do the organizers of those groups know this?

Another one that used to trip me up all the time – and I’m sure is incredibly frustrating for someone just learning the English language – are words that are spelled exactly the same as other words in the language, but have drastically different meanings.

When you tear your hamstring, it brings a tear to your eye. He was in the lead until the outlaw pumped him full of lead. She's the wind in his sails, but he'll wind up alone. My friend left the house and turned left out of the driveway, and that left us short a player for the tournament.

Or how about “ruthless”? I’ve never heard someone say the opposite of that – ruthful or full of ruth, as in “virtuous and ruthful.”

I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed? Maybe in Europe.

What about words that are spelled the same and have the complete opposite meaning. You can add dust to something like, “Dust some strawberries with powdered sugar,” or you can remove dust, as in, “I dusted the shelf.” Another example - to sanction. It can mean to grant approval. “The government sanctioned the use of the chemical” or can be used to condemn or penalize, like, ”The government imposed sanctions on the imports."

Confusing? You bet!

Speaking of confusion, how about these beauties? Words that begin with dis- are supposed to be the antonym, or have the opposite meaming, of the word without that prefix. So disinterested is the opposite of interested. But in these cases, that does not hold true.

If the word is discombobulated, has anyone ever heard of a fully combobulated person or thing -- someone with absolute clarity and no confusion at all? We all know what disgruntled is, but have you ever heard someone say something like “He was so happy and well-adjusted and I don’t think I have ever met a more gruntled and mild-mannered person."?

And if disillusioned indicates something we don't want to be because it reveals a painful reality, being illusioned doesn’t sound much better.

Unless you’re feisty neighbor Keith. He's kinda weird.

Published 07-01-20