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ITD From the Vault: 1990
The Candy Man Doesn't Snicker

This story, from the Transporter in 1990, comes from the Golden Age of Snacking at Headquarters – the Coffee Lady (Peggy Williams) would bring coffee and goodies to each floor twice per day, and the vending machine guy, Mark Bristol, detailed in the story below, also ran a hot dog cart on occasion. It was a magical time!

You look both ways, scoping the scene out like a Secret Service agent. All clear. You slide closer to the machine, nonchalantly reaching into your pocket. Wait! Someone's coming. You quickly back away, lean against the table and begin whistling. They finally leave. You saunter back up to the machine, scan the wall for hidden cameras, and in a lightning move, deposit your quarters and select the sugar, caffeine and calorie bar on the right.

The item drops out into the chute below and you rip it out. So far, so good. Inhaling as you walk towards the door, the candy bar and pop (you had time to practice your technique) disappear into the gaping abyss of your mouth. Responding to the recycling urge within you, you spit the hollow shell of the pop can into the basket as you leave. Luckily, no one else knows that I am a wet-n-dry vacuum, you say to yourself. But Mark Bristol knows, and he's glad.

Bristol is the owner/manager of M.B. Bending, the company that supplies the goodies to the headquarters lunch room vending machines every day. And he knows that the empty cans in the wastebasket with the sides sucked in and the teeth marks all over them are yours.

He works through the Blind Commission, a federally mandated state agency which helps to provide employment for the blind. The agency supplies Mark with the equipment for his business. In return, he pays the commission 6 percent of his monthly profits to help further the program.

Bristol has an associate's degree in business administration from Boise State University and plans to work toward his bachelor's degree at either BSU or Brigham Young University, adding nutritional training along the way. Bristol is also an independent distributor of health foods with Sunrider International, an "afternoon job to help keep me busy when I'm done with the vending business for the day," he says. "I go straight from junk food to health food.

Speaking of junk food, (which I guess is what you do when you're not eating it) here are some figures on how much we wolf down, er ... consume per week: 180 bags of Snack 'Ems, 250 sandwiches, 30 dozen muffins, and 50 cases of pop (Diet Pepsi is the best seller).

Now that the colder months have arrived, Bristol plans to offer a greater variety in the hot food machines, including homemade soups and stews instead of the pre-packaged kinds, and hot sandwiches. But enough of this health food talk. Let's get down to business.

Here it is, the moment you've all been waiting for: the most popular candy bar Bristol sells at the department headquarters is the Snickers bar. We go through 96 bars a week. In fact, although Bristol has run other vending businesses out of Lewiston, he says that he has "never seen a candy machine empty out like this one here does."

There you have it. There is no need to hide anymore. Be proud, walk tall. Yeah, we eat junk food. And we're the best junk food eaters around!