ITD From the Vault:
The Maintenance Man
This gem is from the Transporter in 1958:
Since Adam blamed Eve for the apple,
In words too lurid to quote,
There’s always been some poor mortal,
Who is fated to be the goat.
And the guy in the highway system,
like the dog who is tied to a car,
Is that poor and unsung hero,
Called The Maintenance Man.
Who patches his pavement and toils with his blade,
Cleans out his ditches and builds up his grade,
Replaces his guardrail, trims up his trees,
Crawls through his culvert to clear out the leaves,
lays dust oil in summer, sprays weed oil in spring,
Drives over each mile, never missing a thing,
In short, he does all that he possibly can,
This poor, patient guy called the Maintenance Man.
But whenever it rains and the pavement gets slick,
Or the paint stripe fades when the fog is thick,
Or a tourist gets dust on his big sedan,
who gets the blame? “Why, The Maintenance Man!”
For since Adam blamed Eve for the apple,
And Cain sowed his first wild oat,
there's always been some poor mortal,
Who's fated to be the goat.
And the guy in the highway system,
Who everyone loves to hate,
Is that poor, long-suffering creature,
Called The Maintenance Man.
And I think when he meets Saint Peter,
And looks at the heavenly road,
Where the tractors all have street plates,
And the trucks never over-Ioad,
With never a broken guardrail,
No thistle or Puncture Weed,
Nor dust to allay, nor weeds to spray,
And never a shattered sign,
He'll turn to the worthy Peter, say
"Pete, this is surely swell,
But, I've heard of another district,
We used to call it Hell.”
“And the roads are not so much there,
For they're paved with good intentions,
And I think that would suit me better,
You see, I forgot to mention - - -“
“Just stop right there," Saint Peter will say,
for now that I look at your plan,
I can see why you'd rather go below...
You’re an old time Maintenance Man."